3.15.2011

My love...

Its so crazy how fast the time has gone by since my little man came into this world! I cant believe how big he is getting and how independent he is becoming. Its amazing to see the all the new things he is learning to do but the truth is...I'm so scared for my little love to grow up!
I want him to need me for the rest of his life! I want to be able to kiss him and cuddle him whenever I want, I want him to be here at home every night with me, I want to get him from his crib every morning and kiss him goodnight for the rest of my life, I want to hear every laugh, word, and cry that comes from his little mouth, I want to see every smile, every frown, every silly face that he makes for the rest of my life...I just want to freeze this time! It scares me and consumes me...this little fear of mine! 
The hubby and I are thinking about having another one soon and I'm so torn! One part of me wants to have another one right now and the other part...well...that's where my fear comes in...will my little man not be a little man anymore? Am I taking away from his time with just me? Will he think that he wasn't enough or that I don't love him enough? Will my love be enough? Will having another child make him grow up faster? Ugh...I'm telling you I'm way too obsessed with these fears...
I don't know what to do? I'm so confused! I know I will to come to a decision and what ever it may be I know it will all work out...I mean after all I'm not the first person to have more than one child... :)
Until then I will continue to love my one little man to the moon and back!!!

(took this picture with my phone but its my favorite picture of him)

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